The Support Team

The Support Team

As you can imagine, I'm sure, the most important part of dealing with cancer is your support team. The important thing about that however is who exactly is on that team. I've found that while most will automatically support you, by offering prayers and what not, doesn't always mean they are the best people to have on your team.  A true member of the team will support you, respect your wishes, and know that causing you any kind of upset at all is not good for you're mental well-being.  They will also understand, that some days what you really need is just to be alone and think.

Family

By far the biggest source on the team should be family. Thankfully for me that is the case, my mother being the main one. She has done so much for me already, just as a child growing up.  For what she's going through now with me though she's gone way above and beyond. Not that I'd expect less, it's just I've always had the belief that I'd be the one taking care of her someday.  I certainly wasn't planning on her having to deal with anything like my cancer.  It's also one of the things that frustrates me the most. I can't help her the way I used to and it makes me feel weak.

I also have my brother, aunts, uncles, cousins, and many other relatives on the team. Some that are able to be by my side at a moments notice, and others that can only help me from a far.  All of which is very important.  I know it's unrealistic to rally them all to my side.  I'm grateful for all of the support that they give me as well.  Here too though you need to consider who's got your best interests at heart. Or who's willing to stick it out until the very end. As easy as it is to think your family has you back, even for them dealing with cancer is a painful thing and sometimes they just can't deal with it on top of their own personal issues.

Friends

Even your friends can be a great source of support.  I'm fortunate enough to have two groups of friends that support me.  The ones that I know personally and grew up with and the ones that I have met online.  Both are equally important to me, but have different support that they can offer.  The ones I grew up with are able to visit me when they can, or just text with me if things are too hectic on both sides.  Like family, they know you best and will give you the space you need when needed, or come charging in to the fray.

The online group, is a wonderful distraction from the day to day. Most of them are friends from an online game, Guild Wars 2, that keeps me both out of trouble and connected to them.  They've even gone so far in game as to help me achieve a few goals I had while I was hospital bound for a month. They also keep up with me through texting, check on me frequently, and pass on well wishes from other members that don't have my personal info.  Another group from the game, recently sent me a lovely care package of fuzzy blankets and a stuffed Quaggan.

Hospice Team

While both of the above are important, my team of hospice nurses and various others are priority one. Without them, I would likely still be stuck in the hospital and very miserable.  I'll touch a bit more on how I feel, and what hospice is all about on the main part of the blog.  Though I can tell you here how essential each member of this team is.  My nurses are the ones who provide the most comfort, checking in on me two to tree times a week.  Next up is my hospice social worker, who helps us tackle all the important stuff like what resources are available or helping us with paper work we don't understand.

Then there is the chaplain, who is there if you need someone to talk to if you find yourself unable to reach out to anyone else.  For me this is a difficult thing, I've always been one to bottle and hold things in and the idea of talking to anyone who's not family or friend just didn't work for me.  I've been making better strides though to put effort in to let things go. The other difficult one for me to except is having a bath aide. Letting someone take care of you like that is very scary at first, but when you can't do things for yourself anymore without some serious help, you learn to adapt. Thankfully, I'm getting better at accepting the help I need, and the fact that I need it in the first place.

Marci aka Nurse Fuzzy Butt

Now I realize that some of you will understand this perfectly, and others are going to think I've lost my mind.  Marci, is my grandmother's cat.  She is the sweetest little thing and is constantly at my side when I need her most.  Maxwell, my own cat who we'd had to put down a few years ago for his own health, was the same.  He knew when I was sick, that all he had to do was just lay at my side and I'd start feeling just a bit better.  Marci does the same, but mostly from a distance at first.  She's the type that likes her freedom and not to be held.  So she'll sit on what I call her 'nurse's stations' around the room and just watch over me.

Lately though, since that long stay in the hospital she's become a little more daring at night and will come lay down with me. As long as I gently just reach over and pet her and tell her what a good girl she is, she'll stay put for awhile.  For those who are pet parents, like myself, we understand that whether it's a cat or a dog, animals are very sensitive souls when it comes to the people who take care of them. What you also need to understand, is that as a cancer fighter, stress is a constant and having a loving pet near by is often a source of relieving that stress.  Doesn't matter if they're curled at your side, or just sitting in the window bird watching, as long as you're in the same space they're doing their job.