Hospice Life: The New Normal

When the doctors first brought up the idea of having me enroll in hospice care, there was a quick rejection of the idea forming on my tongue.  At that time I had no idea exactly what 'hospice' was but thought it was something that was only for people who were way older than me.  That is was a place similar to a nursing home where I'd be stuck in a room for the rest of my life.  That was something I didn't want.  I wanted to be back in my own home, with my mom and the rest of my family.  I was very hesitant to do anything that didn't end in that one goal, to be home.

I soon learned that it was anything but what I had pictured in my head.  First of all, I would be able to go home and receive the care that I need.  I also had options of what type of help I  could make use of while I was enrolled.  Automatically you have a social worker and a nurse who will come out to see you two to three times a week depending on your needs.  From there you can choose, to have a bath aid, a chaplain, and a massage therapist or even a music therapist.  Most of all I learned that their main goal, was to just make sure I was comfortable and had the things I needed in my new Normal.

Getting used to some things was a lot easier than others.  We were able to ask for a specific nurse, one that had been with me through a good portion of my chemotherapy treatments.  Having her at my side has been a tremendous help in getting used to hospice in general.  The two that were more difficult for me was of course having a bath aide, and then talking with the chaplain.  We discovered quickly that my energy for showers, even sitting on a shower chair was very difficult for me.

Talking with the chaplain the first time was not what I had expected.  He did most of the talking the first time, letting me know how long he'd been doing the job.  The types of people he's dealt with over the years, and how liked to approach each patient. I was able to relax and chat a bit with him, but I was still a little closed off to the idea.  I have always been one to keep things to myself and bottle them until the pressure was too much.  Last week, was very stressful for me and I reached out to speak with him.

He was happy to come by this morning and listened to everything I'd had to say.  Didn't judge anything, just offered his thoughts on how I had managed to handle things so far, and was glad to learn that I had figured a few things out on my own.  It was a very relaxing conversation for me, and nice to know that I wasn't wrong in the way I was trying to cope with the stress and other issues that had plagued me last week. Also nice to know that I haven't compleatly lost my marbles.